Friday, May 28, 2010

Topkill, the new sporting event.

(Fill up the aircraft carrier with guns and Hummers, sail her to the BP spill site, extract all the people, and target shoot a nice hole in the hull, sinking it right over the well head. Continue with all manner of armaments until the spill stops.)

Training and competing together certainly builds bonds, sports historically were ritualized warfare but also alternatives to war, and the sense of fair play and appreciation for your opponent can be sharply evident in sports. Indeed, friendly competition is endlessly and creatively possible. I'm thinking right now of a sporting event to stop the oil spill by plugging the well with military items. Since the US is the nation most impacted, our military should set up a competition between armed forces to plug the well with all the national security items they have. I'm thinking army tanks and air force bombers (take all fuses off all bombs first). Keep dropping Hummers and drones on the well until it stops. Other countries and in fact gun owners could compete too
in many special categories. Drug cartels could join in for extra fun, and even al Qa'ida could field a team of explosives belts and improvised explosive devices. Keep tossing all the instruments of death down there and hope they do the job. ESPN would cover it with multilingual commentators. The TV graphics would be fantastic.


Daryn Cambridge said...

Brilliant idea!

Tom H. Hastings said...

Well, at least I stayed nonviolent and didn't suggest plugging it with oil company executives and the politicians we happen to find in their beds.