Transformative psychology #4: The power of positive listening

Some communications experts call it "active listening," some call it "reflective listening," some deem it "elicitive listening," and it might also be "transformative listening" or "positive listening." What are the characteristics of such a practice?

·       genuine listening with all forms of our intelligence (certainly emotional intelligence coupled with intellectual intelligence)

·       listening to formulate questions that draw a person out further

·       patient listening

·       reflective listening that paraphrases with humility, using follow-ups such as, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but what I hear you saying is..."

·       empathic listening for the trauma behind some narratives

·       connective listening that seeks to identify commonalities with the other rather than listening for "gotcha" points to prepare a retort or refutation

The United States Institute of Peace[1] offers many techniques that can be considered part of active listening, as long as care is also given to the sequencing. For example, they include, "Help the speaker see other points of view," which is certainly a valuable technique but likely only helpful after first using many of the other techniques and then gingerly probing to see if such a "help" is welcome or if it would effectively end the conversation. In short, the psychology of positive listening is at least as crucial as the checklist. 

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[1] https://www.usip.org/sites/default/files/2017-01/Core%20Principles%20of%20Active%20Listening%20Handout.pdf