Pull those conflict threads

Mediators should investigate the conflict and make suggestions for solutions, right? Not according to Bill Ury, who instead advises us to realize that people generally prefer their own ideas, their own insights and that the best mediators do indeed assess but do so by asking "clarifying questions" which "help uncover underlying interests and generate possible options" (p. 252). So, in most cases, the best mediator is the most insightful facilitator who can pull threads in the woven masks we all wear consciously or unconsciously, revealing fears, desires, traumas, and hopes that can inspire the parties to experience the epiphanic realization of a solution that works for all. This is also related to Kwame Christian's "compassionate curiosity" (2018).

References

Christian, Kwame (2018). Finding confidence in conflict. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Zg65eK9XU&t=325s

Ury, William (2024). Possible: How we survive (and thrive) in an age of conflict. Harper Business.