Deëscalation tip #34

 Learning about both the theory and practice of adaptive conflict transformation can help us become smarter and more effective conflict workers--but only if we are seriously honest with ourselves. 

·       Do I talk over others in my eagerness to win arguments?

·       Do I assume the fundamental attribution error (my mistakes are excusable and due to circumstances; the mistakes of others are due to their flawed nature)?

·       Am I compassionate or judgmental?

·       Do I avoid conflict at all costs?

·       Am I a doormat, submissive and compliant even when I feel I am allowing someone to dominate me?

·       Am I dismissive of the hurt someone else might feel?

All these questions and more, informed by the scholars and practitioners who have proven concepts and techniques, can help us overcome the weaknesses that hold us back from increasing success in managing conflict. Honest self-assessment and self-talk are how we learn, no matter how slowly, to best manage the inevitable conflict coming our way. 

Practicing the listening necessary to effective deëscalation is improved by our rigorous self-awareness and willingness to move out of our comfort zone.