Conflict on the team

Continuing to draw the naturally divergent views on how to achieve a goal back to the basic shared interest of everyone is a way to ground the conversation in civility and shared purpose. Whether someone is a facilitator or simply a participating member of a work team, reminding everyone that we share more than we don't is one factor in keeping the contamination of egos and stubbornness at a minimum.

Doing so is always easier when we can credit others with that reminder, e.g., "I for one appreciate our search for the best way to serve our clients, as Kerry reminded us last week. All these ideas are pointed toward that one mandate and even when we seem to disagree we are all just seeking that same good outcome." Everyone thus shares in the credit and is less alienated by the process.

A role that was a part of a large group I worked with back in the 90s was Vibeswatcher. One person, who also participated in the group process, was tasked with just looking at body language, tone, side communications, and general emotional content of the group and group members. They had no direct input into facilitation unless they felt the emotional content was getting seriously escalated. Then they had the power to interrupt the process, make their observations, and the group attempted to find ways to deescalate. This is especially valuable in larger groups with one or more verbose speakers, as the emotional signs frequently begin to come from those who feel unheard, not called on, or shut out.