Whose truth?

In all conflict situations, in all difficult dialogs, in all tough conversations, there are multiple truths. Every party has a vantage point, a history, and education, making each party unique in seeing their truth. It is thus very likely to have sincere expressions of "the truth" which are, in reality, "a truth." Honoring those possibilities is an important and productive step toward progress. 

As an exercise in this, I will sometimes place several objects in the middle of a circle of chairs, at least some of which are big enough to hide smaller objects on the other side of them. I will put a sheet over it all and call folks into the room or have it ready before the start of the workshop. 

When folks sit in the circle I will ask them to not stand or move their position until after this exercise. I will either hand out paper and pens to ask everyone to write a one-sentence description of what is in the pile of stuff in the middle of the circle, or I will ask them, one at a time, to describe the facts as they see them about the items in the middle.

The point here is obvious. They each have a unique perspective and each have a real, factual, accurate truth--one that may legitimately and authentically be shown as quite different from someone in another position in the circle of observers. While this is a simplistic exercise, it can remain a visual to those who are learning about managing conflict--literally each of us has a genuine, provable, observable truth that may be quite different from that equally authentic truth from someone else. It's okay. 

When everyone is done we of course discuss it and now everyone has a much fuller idea of a more complex, nuanced truth. Then, once everyone is convinced they now hold the real complete set of facts, I reveal some object in the center of the things that no one could have seen. I ask them to remember that even complex, nuanced, highly informed truths from all identifiable parties might still be incomplete, and to allow for that possibility at all times. 

Sometimes the most rudimentary exercises can have lasting lessons for all.