Deēscalation tip #1

 As one of the founders of the Portland Peace Team, and as someone who continues to practice and study deescalation as effective in strategic nonviolent campaigns, I will offer occasional tips for those who may also wish to deepen their knowledge of this key component of civil resistance. I also hope you'll add to that knowledge by posting your tips in Comments. 

Vernal equinox 2024: 

"Affect labeling: 

• Ignore the words being spoken.
• Guess the speaker's emotional experience.
• Reflect back the emotion and use direct, declarative 'You' statements" (Noll, 2017, p. 21).

I am going to agree and then disagree with Mr. Noll. Do not ignore the words being spoken. Note them even as you also note the likely emotional experience. Then use reflective listening, paraphrasing what you hear but do so with a validity escape hatch--invite them to correct you if you do not seem to get their ideas right. 

Don't use declarative responses. Use gentle interrogatives, eliciting more information and they will likely de-escalate as they find you actually listening.

Resources

Noll, Douglas E. (2017). De-escalate: How to calm an angry person in 90 seconds or less. Hillsboro, OR: Atria.