Dialog across difference #28: Give me a break

In tough talks, especially when disagreement has fueled substantive negotiations that have become rife with questionable tactics, there can be an advantage in simply noting that the contesting environment is beginning to feel toxic and you are going to pause your involvement for the moment (Fisher, Ury & Patton, p. 142). 

This can be especially helpful when one side has been exerting increasing pressure framed as time-urgent. Quick executive decisions may be adaptive in many cases but hurried decisions that feel driven by one side's push to cave are seldom wise decisions. Halting engagement for an undisclosed period can sometimes reset the tone and convince the parties to back off so that the merits become the central focus instead of one party's clamoring need for resolution.

It is frequently noted in discussions about diplomacy that, while all negotiators have home cultures, diplomats develop a culture unto themselves and amongst each other as well. Helping shape that culture by being flexible until you cannot be--by making concessions based on the merits and holding the line when principles are being violated--can help with the sustainable contours of how guard rails can be constructed to help that diplomacy culture keep all parties safer.

Fisher, Roger; Ury, William; Patton, Bruce (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. (3^rd ed.). New York, NY: Penguin.