Dialog across difference #30: Doveryai, no proveryai

As the peace movement against nuclear weapons in general and the Euromissiles in particular grew from 1979-1987, leaders were eventually forced to negotiate. They feared each other, to be sure, but they feared their own growing domestic opposition even more. 

In a cross-cultural coup in 1987, Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev negotiated the historic Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces disarmament treaty (which Trump unbelievably destroyed 30 years later). They framed it to their own people wisely as a treaty made not to indicate trust of the enemy, not to show that either caved to the other, but rather that it was in the clear best interests of their own people, on both sides. Literally win-win.

Reagan famously and adroitly credited a Russian maxim for this: doveryai, no proveryai--Trust but verify. 

Getting to Yes authors Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project note, "Unless you have a good reason to trust somebody, don't" (p. 134).

Reagan made a cross-cultural bow to his enemy by using a phrase from the enemy's own culture, and showed enough humility when using it to note that his pronunciation might be sketchy. In addition, when Gorbachev laughed and said, "You repeat that every time," Reagan made another nod to Russian culture by saying simply, "I like it." 

(Reagan also liked it because it was short, simple, and rhymed.)

Trusting your opponent is not necessary; constructing a verification system is the workaround to the problem of trust. This can not only be done to facilitate good outcomes across cultures, it can be done with enough cross-cultural sensitivity to make it more successful more quickly. 

References

Fisher, Roger; Ury, William; Patton, Bruce (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. (3^rd ed.). New York, NY: Penguin.