Deëscalation tip #47

It was at the Portland Oregon building permit and records building, but it was the City Council taking testimony on some issues. We had been invited to provide a peace presence.

She was yelling and she clambered over the railing and onto a beam. I made a beeline for her. She came back, still yelling at the uniformed security guards. She sat down for a second, still loudly proclaiming that she had a right to smudge. First two, then three security guards hovered over her. I stepped in-between, in front of her and looked at her. 

"I like your earrings," I said, "and especially your brim." She was identifying as Native American and I wanted to acknowledge that. 

She glanced at me, apparently prepared to take it as sarcasm, as a veiled racial insult. 

"Thanks," she said, quietly. 

She got up and bolted. Another fellow was darting around. I refocused, on him. Eventually, one floor down, I caught up to her. By this time, four security guards were in a half-circle around her, but she was more or less deëscalated. 

That was because Anthony, another member of our Portland Peace Team, was with her. Anthony is a professional conflict transformation specialist, both in mediation and ombuds roles, and has been for approximately 20 years. Anthony was telling her how he had visited both Canada and Alaska and had found the dominant cultures there much more respectful of inherent Native rights. 

We clearly had the advantage when it came to deëscalating because our methods were not in line with official policies. We could take the time, whereas armed security were instructed far more to focus on establishing dominance and moving it quickly to close-out. We stayed with her for as long as it took, and it took relatively little time because we showed what Kwame Christian calls compassionate curiosity. She and I made eye contact and she started to cry. She had been yelling. We tag-teamed some compassion and some listening and it hit her and moved her. 

When you see a dysfunctional failed deëscalation, you may be the one to get it right.